Embracing Depression and Anxiety as Catalysts for Positive Change
When depression and anxiety creep in, your values and actions may be drifting apart. When these two align, life is more harmonious.
Introduction
In our fast-paced, ever-changing-society, depression and anxiety are at the forefront of many Americans' lives. This post is intended to address and normalize these emotions, while also describing how to turn them into a positive - utilizing each as motivation to live a healthy, more meaningful life.
Depression and Anxiety Are Normal
Both depression and anxiety are normal feelings that every human experiences. They are our internal cues that something is off and needs to change. In small doses they are extremely helpful and even vital to our survival.
For example, if you were out wandering the streets and a lion jumped in front of you, your body would kick into fight or flight mode telling you to get the heck out of there before you get eaten - cue helpful anxiety. Or if you become deeply saddened by the loss of a loved one, it means you cherished your time together. Your happy, funny, difficult, loving memories. You were able to feel all of those emotions which is why their loss is so difficult - cue understandable depression. Without these “difficult” emotions we wouldn’t be human and wouldn’t be alive long enough to feel them.
However, depression and anxiety can become problematic when they feel out of our control.
*Disclaimer (from the therapist in me): if you feel your depressive or anxious symptoms are currently out of your control and you are feeling helpless please seek outside support and do not rely on this post as your sole tool for help.
How to Catch Depression and Anxiety in Their Tracks
For each, there is a spectrum. Anxiety could start as an increased heart rate or racing thoughts and spiral into a full blown panic attack, or avoiding certain people/places, along with a variety of other mental and physical symptoms. Depression can begin as a low mood for a period of time and evolve into not leaving the house, ceasing to engage in activities you once enjoyed, weight change and a plethora of other symptoms.
Sometimes we have the insight and self-awareness to catch these feelings in the moments they arise. Other times it’s not until they have been built up for an extended period of time and erupt in a much larger form, that we notice them. Either way, it’s important to remember that YOU get to decide what you do once you recognize the situation. Whether that be seek help, make a change in your own life, or ignore it completely.
The best way to catch each in their tracks is to reflect inward as often as you can. Check in with yourself like you would a family member or close friend. We owe it to ourselves to be that friend. In order to perform our daily tasks, to be a loving wife/husband, daughter/son, to be successful in our work/school endeavors along with the million other tasks/responsibilities we’d like to complete in a day.
How to Check in With Yourself:
Values Awareness
-Values - the things that are most important to you. These change throughout our life. Examples - wealth, family, exercise, health, wisdom, success, etc.
-It’s important to self-reflect and be aware of your current values. What is most important to you right now? It might be helpful to rank and prioritize these. Here is a helpful tool to check in with your current values.
Current Actions/Behaviors
-Check in with your day-to-day actions. Do your lifestyle choices and behaviors currently align with your values or are they taking you in a direction away from them?
-If you notice misalignment between your actions and any of your values, this is usually where those feelings of depression or anxiety arise - because the two are conflicting.
Example:
Value Misalignment: If a main value of mine is family and I spend a majority of my day at work, only to come home and still have to respond to emails. My weekends are also consumed with emails, phone calls and work-related tasks. I probably feel very off and frustrated. Maybe anxious because my mind is spent thinking about my family and the time I am losing with them, which could lead to depressive thoughts as well and an overall irritable mood.
Changes to be Made: This is highly dependent upon each individual situation. But, I could keep my work email off of my phone and only allow myself access when I am at work - separate work from home. If that’s not an option, I can set aside 30 min of the day or a couple hours of the week to “family time” - no electronics allowed, just the allotted time spent being fully present with one another. The list could go on… you get the idea, tailor it to what would be possible for your given situation. The point is to prioritize aligning actions with values.
Utilizing Depression and Anxiety as Positive Tools for Change
Think of both depression and anxiety as your body’s way of saying hey!!! Let’s take a pause here. Let’s slow down and reassess. We need to try something new or different because the way things have been going recently AREN’T working. What small changes (or large if you are able) can you make right now to begin a shift in mindset, routine and life? What will make ME feel better? Look to no one else, the answer has to come from YOU.
How empowering? Your brain/body are letting you know something needs to change. And YOU get to be the one to choose what those changes are. What actions or behaviors can you take to begin paving your path towards the road to YOUR own values (no one else's).
Conclusion
In essence, it seems pretty simple; do what is important to you. But when our day-to-day lives are inundated with so many outside influences and mundane tasks, it can be pretty easy to stray away from prioritizing these things.
A lot of the work that I do clinically surrounds values exploration and finding incongruences. Once they are found, the work toward realignment can be done and that is where much relief, success and happiness comes. Individuals are able to live a more meaningful life when their actions and behaviors are in line with the things that are most important to them.
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